You do not have to be endlessly composed to lead
Questions about pressure, reactions and support for founders, without diagnosing your nervous system or prescribing treatment.
By Rajiv Sankarlall · Updated
Leading a company can make you feel that you should always have the answer and present yourself well. When you are overwhelmed, that expectation can add another layer of effort: you are dealing with the situation and trying to hide how difficult it feels.
Take your experience seriously. Ask what is happening in your working life and what support or changes you may need.
Describe the difficult moment
Think about a recent interaction that stayed with you. What was said? What did you notice about your response? Did you become abrupt, agree too quickly, avoid the conversation or keep revisiting it afterward?
Describe the behavior without making it a permanent identity. “I interrupted that person” gives you something to acknowledge and change. “I am incapable of leading” is a much broader conclusion that deserves questioning.
Identify what needs attention
There may be an actual problem with a deadline, agreement or decision. Address that problem with the appropriate people. There may also be a personal concern about approval, confidence or what the event means about you.
Consider where to bring each part. Choosing between a peer group, coach and therapist can help you think about support. If you have health concerns or persistent difficulty functioning, speak with a qualified healthcare professional.
Choose a response you can explain
If you need to repair an interaction, be specific about what happened and what you will do differently. If you need time before deciding, state that clearly. If your availability has become unsustainable, discuss a workable change instead of expecting others to infer it.
You can be accountable without sharing every personal detail with your team. Founder transparency explores how to communicate information people need while finding another place for private support.
In my own life, I had to question beliefs, return to my values and change the actions that supported my direction. Private coaching creates room for that kind of reflection and practical work. It does not require you to perform a version of leadership where you never feel pressure. It asks how you want to respond, what you can change and who can help with the parts you should not carry alone.