Who are you when the founder role no longer fits?
A reflection on changing your identity without dismissing the ambition, abilities and experiences that brought you here.
By Rajiv Sankarlall · Updated
When I lost the company, I also had to face how much of my identity had become tied to it. The daily grind had taken most of my attention. I had stopped having fun, stepped away from spirituality and compromised values that were important to me.
Finding my way forward involved a shedding. I had to question beliefs, return to what mattered and decide who I wanted to become. That did not mean pretending the past had never happened. It meant changing the meaning I gave it and taking actions that supported a different life.
Look at the role you have been playing
Finish this sentence: “A successful founder must always…” Write whatever comes to mind before editing it. Always be available? Always have the answer? Always pursue the next target? Then ask where each belief came from and whether you still agree with it.
Some expectations may be useful. Others may be making choices for you without your noticing. You are allowed to examine them without giving up your ambition.
Keep what is yours
What parts of you existed before the company? What have you learned through building it that you want to carry forward? Which qualities do people close to you recognize even when you are struggling to see them?
You do not need a new label immediately. It may be more useful to spend time doing something you value and notice how that feels. A conversation, a practice or a neglected interest can tell you more than a carefully written personal mission statement.
Give the change a place in your week
If you want to become someone who is present with family, what would that look like on Tuesday evening? If you want to trust yourself more, which decision are you postponing while seeking another person's permission? If you want a sense of purpose, where are you spending time on work you believe in?
The answers should be small enough to act on and meaningful enough to matter. Values beyond the company offers another place to begin. In private coaching, we use your current baseline and your vision of a better life to choose those steps. You supply the answers. My role is to ask questions, help you follow through and review what you learn.